Carmen Calatayud
Bio:
Carmen Calatayud is the daughter of a Spanish immigrant father and Irish immigrant mother. Her poetry book In the Company of Spirits (Press 53) was a runner-up for the Academy of American Poets’ Walt Whitman Award and a finalist for the Andrés Montoya Poetry Prize. Her work has been featured in print and online by Cutthroat, Poet Lore, Verse Daily, Virginia Quarterly Review and other journals, and most recently anthologized in Poetry of Resistance: Voices for Social Justice (University of Arizona Press).
Hurricane Season
1. You,
perched next to a powder blue
pillow on the black vinyl couch parked in front of a TV that shows poker cards flicker and fly while you drink
your fifth bottle of beer.
The waters come.
2.Pink bruises imprint your lover’s spine.
You say You don’t remember Her back was in pieces, put together as a stained-glass puzzle and now moves like a stripped gear shaft.
The waters come.
3.This lover pauses at an imaginary altar for the ex-girlfriend she’ll never meet.
You say You don’t remember
How you litthat woman’s skin on fire, and
the second-degree burns
turned the smooth skin of her legs into wild sockeye salmon flesh.
The waters come.
4.Today this lover tries to forget that you almost turned her into a ripe hibiscus flame last summer.
You say (of course) You don’t remember.
She smells like burned salt.
She’s a heavy blackened wind.
The waters come.
5.Who knows what lives in your memory (You don’t remember) (You don’t remember) (You don’t remember)Or
if the combustion in her head will burn her brain.
The waters come.
6.If waves wash you away with the giant screen that soothes you,
your lover will leap on the coffee table that’s left
dance by flashlight
pirouette into still damp air.
perched next to a powder blue
pillow on the black vinyl couch parked in front of a TV that shows poker cards flicker and fly while you drink
your fifth bottle of beer.
The waters come.
2.Pink bruises imprint your lover’s spine.
You say You don’t remember Her back was in pieces, put together as a stained-glass puzzle and now moves like a stripped gear shaft.
The waters come.
3.This lover pauses at an imaginary altar for the ex-girlfriend she’ll never meet.
You say You don’t remember
How you litthat woman’s skin on fire, and
the second-degree burns
turned the smooth skin of her legs into wild sockeye salmon flesh.
The waters come.
4.Today this lover tries to forget that you almost turned her into a ripe hibiscus flame last summer.
You say (of course) You don’t remember.
She smells like burned salt.
She’s a heavy blackened wind.
The waters come.
5.Who knows what lives in your memory (You don’t remember) (You don’t remember) (You don’t remember)Or
if the combustion in her head will burn her brain.
The waters come.
6.If waves wash you away with the giant screen that soothes you,
your lover will leap on the coffee table that’s left
dance by flashlight
pirouette into still damp air.
Mermaid Overdose
1.Your fluid-filled lungs leak into the lake of your chest.
Rivers swish inside your arms.
That must be the reason for the elegance of your stroke. I’m witheach drop of you that flows into the Potomac. When you
float by, I know that legs are tails are tributaries. Everything about you
leads to the sea and I can’t getthere as fast as my heart can fly. 2.All those drugs disposed in the ocean:
You’ve absorbed them through your gills and open slivers of skin.
Now you can’t get enough of the high seas and I can’t track you above or below
the water. Even when I toss an inner tube, you dive in the opposite direction.
Me wanting you to want to save yourself.
3. Watch me stand on the Maryland shore,remembering your wet chest and
pastel blue hands. You moved like a ballerina. I sighed like a tired dog
and drooled. How did your turquoisescales become the body I loved?
I still collect shells that reflectyour mermaid beginnings
and spray of words.
4. Imagine a trail of pills
across the sand. I bend over to pick one up.
One less for you to swallow, one more that might lead to your tail.
You were swimming through addiction and I had no say.
If only I could have entered your aortic chamber, healed the watery moon of your heart. Now I just listen for a beat, a splash of you:
Part woman, part fish, part unnamed star.
Watching the War, 1975
The Fall of Saigon: Over the course of April 29, 1975 and into the following morning, Operation Frequent Wind transported more than 1,000 Americans and more than 5,000 Vietnamese out of Saigon at the end of the Vietnam War.
Too hard to take her father’s blows for talking during the news so after 8 pm,
she moves to her room slips into a narcotic haze.
After more chugs of cherry cough medicine,
the empty bottle glows: Iridescent, a pale ruby cylinder.
Cuts across her wrist horizontally three times with a rusty razor,
not knowing that vertical is the way to go. Blood barely blossoms from her shy left wrist.
********
This first-generation American girl is addicted to music that spins on a spinach green record player from Sears.
She puts the needle down on the White Album: Number 9 Number 9 Number 9
John Lennon says over and over as she lies on the floor,
ear to the speaker to float away from the war zone
created by parents who survived wars themselves.
******** On the news that night, she saw Vietnamese climb the embassy walls. U.S. Marines slammed their gripping fingers with butts of guns, watched men and women fall. The reporter said one Vietnamese government official who was left behind shot himself to death.
********
The girl imagines she is airlifted to another place by grabbing hold of a magic helicopter,
ready to hang on like the Vietnamese people
who reached for the skids of the last American chopper that took off in April ‘75
but were left behind: running, jumping, crying out.
********
Codeine makes the music rise like an aquamarine wave and crash across her cheeks.
Then Jimi Hendrix comes back to life
to take her from this shell-shocked house to a place where everything’s fluid and blue.
Jimi reels her into an etherized dream where there’s a reunion with the dead
as he sings Castles Made of Sand.
Too hard to take her father’s blows for talking during the news so after 8 pm,
she moves to her room slips into a narcotic haze.
After more chugs of cherry cough medicine,
the empty bottle glows: Iridescent, a pale ruby cylinder.
Cuts across her wrist horizontally three times with a rusty razor,
not knowing that vertical is the way to go. Blood barely blossoms from her shy left wrist.
********
This first-generation American girl is addicted to music that spins on a spinach green record player from Sears.
She puts the needle down on the White Album: Number 9 Number 9 Number 9
John Lennon says over and over as she lies on the floor,
ear to the speaker to float away from the war zone
created by parents who survived wars themselves.
******** On the news that night, she saw Vietnamese climb the embassy walls. U.S. Marines slammed their gripping fingers with butts of guns, watched men and women fall. The reporter said one Vietnamese government official who was left behind shot himself to death.
********
The girl imagines she is airlifted to another place by grabbing hold of a magic helicopter,
ready to hang on like the Vietnamese people
who reached for the skids of the last American chopper that took off in April ‘75
but were left behind: running, jumping, crying out.
********
Codeine makes the music rise like an aquamarine wave and crash across her cheeks.
Then Jimi Hendrix comes back to life
to take her from this shell-shocked house to a place where everything’s fluid and blue.
Jimi reels her into an etherized dream where there’s a reunion with the dead
as he sings Castles Made of Sand.